Let's just say my track record with relationships are shit, after my first girlfriend. Either because of me or because of them - who knows.
Currently, I have no idea, really, what happened.
My girlfriend went out to dinner with my roommates and I, and she didn't really talk to me at all. I have no clue why - something about how she has no idea where we stand.
I will admit I'm not a great girlfriend. There is no way I can be. I'm one of those wafty, wherever-the-wind-takes-me, randomly lonely and randomly social people. One day I can have a plan to do this, and the other day I have no idea what I'm doing. I might want to hang out with as many people as I can, or not want to see anyone at all. I know I am a frustrating, irritating person. This is okay for me.
I know it's not for a lot of others, especially when they want someone to be steady. She speaks of marriage and settling down. I speak of maybe spending two months in Quebec, then bouncing around to different camps, oh and maybe not doing all my four years at college but rather two here and two there and doing a bazillion different things all at once. She doesn't want to learn French and live in Quebec. She wanted to go to Toronto, not Alberta. Yet.. she's coming with me. I have no idea why.
We moved really quickly. I really enjoy her company. I really like her, I think she's a gorgeous girl... I don't think I'm good enough for her.
So this might be the pushing thing to send me away. I might end up just disappearing, to get away from the guilt.
We'll see, once we have our 'face-to-face' conversation tomorrow.
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Day Two: Everything is in the air
My friend and I made up, but I'm still considering my options.
It is cheaper to drive back now and then take the plane flight back then it is to live here. Scary, hey?
So I have to do a pro-con list, and here it is. :3 The numbers beside them is of varying importance, 1 being the lowest, 3 being the highest.
Pros for leaving in a few weeks = 11
Cheaper 1
Get to go home 2
Easier to move 3
See friends sooner 2
Escape from drama 3
Cons = 13
Miss out on my academic prep class (WHATEVER) 1
Miss out on tattoo festival 2
Bit of a mess 2
Leaving NS sooner than planned 2
Cowardice 3
Miss out on road trip opportunity 3
I have a feeling I'll be staying...
We'll see how it turns out when I'm done packing.
It is cheaper to drive back now and then take the plane flight back then it is to live here. Scary, hey?
So I have to do a pro-con list, and here it is. :3 The numbers beside them is of varying importance, 1 being the lowest, 3 being the highest.
Pros for leaving in a few weeks = 11
Cheaper 1
Get to go home 2
Easier to move 3
See friends sooner 2
Escape from drama 3
Cons = 13
Miss out on my academic prep class (WHATEVER) 1
Miss out on tattoo festival 2
Bit of a mess 2
Leaving NS sooner than planned 2
Cowardice 3
Miss out on road trip opportunity 3
I have a feeling I'll be staying...
We'll see how it turns out when I'm done packing.
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Day One: what the hell do I do now?
Just a bit of background info: I'm an adult high school student, working towards my diploma. I've been working odd and end jobs since January. Originally I'm from a city up in the North of Alberta; currently, I'm living almost six thousand kilometers away in Nova Scotia, in a little university town.
The plan this morning had been to finish packing my room and move with my two friends into an apartment for two months, paying them some money to help cover bills, then taking a leisurely trip across Canada.
About seven hours later, I'm trying to figure out how to finish all my homework in two weeks and drive back as quick as I can halfway through May. To think, all it took was a small spat from my roommate/friend.
I love Nova Scotia. Don't get me wrong. It's a beautiful place with beautiful people, but those beautiful people love their not-so-beautiful dramas. I've dealt with a childish roommate and his penis pinata, an international student with no respect for anyone else, teenager girls with a bad attitude at a short-lived and exhausting work experience, bickering and pettiness at school, drunks walking up and down outside my window hollering at all hours of the night, the smell of pot making me gag constantly, a disgusting house and even worse kitchen, and, to top it all off? It's been an expensive fucking year!
As it stands, my plan is currently to pack up all my crap and find several temporary homes to stay in. I'll drive back as soon as I get all my school assignments done (halfway through May) and at the end of June, take a plane back to do my English exam and fulfill a commitment that I promised to my girlfriend. After that, it's a train ride to Ontario, where I'll spend the summer with my mom and family, hopefully not killing them in the process.
I started this blog to keep track of my decisions along the way, and to hopefully remember why I'm leaving in the first place. I need somewhere to vent, and somewhere to hide. And maybe, in the future, something to laugh at. I'm sure that these next few weeks of couchsurfing and trying to scramble to get things done will create several interesting memories.
Let's just hope that I don't end up sleeping outside.
-Katie
The plan this morning had been to finish packing my room and move with my two friends into an apartment for two months, paying them some money to help cover bills, then taking a leisurely trip across Canada.
About seven hours later, I'm trying to figure out how to finish all my homework in two weeks and drive back as quick as I can halfway through May. To think, all it took was a small spat from my roommate/friend.
I love Nova Scotia. Don't get me wrong. It's a beautiful place with beautiful people, but those beautiful people love their not-so-beautiful dramas. I've dealt with a childish roommate and his penis pinata, an international student with no respect for anyone else, teenager girls with a bad attitude at a short-lived and exhausting work experience, bickering and pettiness at school, drunks walking up and down outside my window hollering at all hours of the night, the smell of pot making me gag constantly, a disgusting house and even worse kitchen, and, to top it all off? It's been an expensive fucking year!
As it stands, my plan is currently to pack up all my crap and find several temporary homes to stay in. I'll drive back as soon as I get all my school assignments done (halfway through May) and at the end of June, take a plane back to do my English exam and fulfill a commitment that I promised to my girlfriend. After that, it's a train ride to Ontario, where I'll spend the summer with my mom and family, hopefully not killing them in the process.
I started this blog to keep track of my decisions along the way, and to hopefully remember why I'm leaving in the first place. I need somewhere to vent, and somewhere to hide. And maybe, in the future, something to laugh at. I'm sure that these next few weeks of couchsurfing and trying to scramble to get things done will create several interesting memories.
Let's just hope that I don't end up sleeping outside.
-Katie
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